Saturday, March 06, 2010

With David gone, sometimes my life seems so empty and lonely. It’s so strange, my memories of him seem so far away, in some distant past. It’s like he’s been gone for many years, not just weeks. That bothers me.

Someone on LE suggested a book, How to Survive the Loss of a Love. I picked it up from the library, and it has a lot of good points. But it also talks about healing. What a strange choice of words. You don’t ‘heal’ from the loss of a loved one, you just get used to the absence. But that’s just my opinion.

This poem from the book describes my situation very well,
How I
love you and hate you.

How bound I am to you.
How bound I am to break my bondage.

I want to be free!

I want to be able to
enjoy the day again,

and give me back my nights.

Lukas’ ultrasound results came back. Everything is normal, which is a huge relief. So he’s on Prilosec to settle his stomach until David’s being gone isn’t so disturbing to him. Poor baby is sick with a cold now, though. He’s got a nasty cough. Things should get better now with the weather getting warmer. He won’t be missing so many meetings. The people at the Kingdom Hall are so good to him, and for him. He’s such a people person. It’s funny to think of a handicapped son as being a support, but he is. He’s made me become more socially active, and I certainly need that. By choice, I would be a hermit, and I have to fight that tendency to isolation.

The babies are awake and playing. Last week Christian went down to Petco and bought another ferret. Fang wasn’t interested in playing with Chunk, just beating him up. And Chunk needed someone to play with besides the cats, so now we have 2 baby ferrets, Chunk and Buddy. They’re quite entertaining, very exuberant and playful. I’ll have to get photos of them posted later.


Anonymous said...

I agree with you ,"You don’t ‘heal’ from the loss of a loved one""
One only learns to live with the loss a little better each day...

Some days not..

Much love to you dearest....

Adriana (adee on LE)

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